Interest money

Mom, where does the money come from?

Well, I’m glad you asked, kid. Financial literacy is a big part of where money comes from. It’s important to start talking about it early in the interest of compound interest. Not that anyone bothered to tell me that until I already missed my chance at a really voluptuous curve, if you know what I mean. No of course not. I am sorry.

Okay, so, first and foremost, money comes from hard work. Money is the reason mom spends so much time staring at her computer and talking to her computer and standing in front of her computer and bowing to her computer. Basically, for many people, myself included, money comes from computers.

Well, actually, yes, the money can come from the internet. Let’s wait until you’re a little older to talk about NFT But for now, you might like to hear about internet coins with cool names like Doge and Bit. It’s called crypto, and it’s really fun! Until it disappears, like regular money. Moreover, earning money on the Internet is really bad for the environment. It turns out that cryptocurrency has a lot in common with the old regular currency.

Well, where else? The money comes from the demonstration. You write a number on a blank check (I’ll explain what a check is another time), then you carry the check and look at it every day until that amount of money appears in your account banking. Now, if you happened to walk past a bank while wearing a mask, with a bag and a note for the teller with that same magic number written on it, and it is how the money appears in your account, well, it’s a way to manifest your destiny. YOLO.

Money grows on trees! I laugh. It’s just nonsense people say. But, if you’re growing certain types of plants, there’s a ton of money to be made that way these days. It’s legal in more and more states. By the time you are ready for a career, it will be totally legit. From now on, let’s focus on that for you: a career in “tree money”. I think you will really enjoy it.

The money comes from real estate. Just a warning, though – everyone is on this one, which is why there are hardly any places left to live. When you’re old enough to be interested in real estate, I imagine it’ll be van life for everyone. But, with the way we treat the Earth, floods, fires, heat waves and deep freezes will make life pretty hard everywhere. Sorry about all that, by the way. In case I forget to say it later.

The money comes from the stock market. It used to be that you took all the extra cash you had, picked your favorite tech company, bought its stock, and watched the money roll in. But you have to be more careful these days. You never know when a billionaire might threaten to use money from one of your favorite tech companies to buy another. It’s boring and pointless, but you have to show a lot of sympathy to the billionaires. It’s the American way.

Speaking of the American way, the money comes from tax loopholes. There’s this wild thing called deferred interest. This means that while everyone has to share their toys, the kids with the most toys only have to pay 20% tax when they should definitely pay 40%. But no career path screams “please give me some slack in these tough times” more than private equity. At least that’s what my elected officials tell me.

The money comes from the government, but only in the most extreme circumstances. Anything else would make us all lazy. That’s the rumor, anyway. Remember that there will be taxes on this government money, so don’t do anything crazy with it, like using it to rest, recuperate, and remember that you also exist outside of late capitalist systems.

Money comes from following your happiness. Yeah, I know—OK, millennial. This one feels rather dated. But there’s something called silent surrender, where you don’t treat your work as if it defines your value. Maybe money and happiness can come from it?

Where, oh where does the money come from? I know I confused you, kid. Let’s keep it simple. There is a bird called the stork. He drops money on some people’s doorsteps. This happens when they turn twenty-five and the money is wrapped in a special cover called a trust fund. But, since the stork doesn’t know our address, I suggest you look at a lemonade stand to start. And please don’t forget about compound interest. ♦